Will You Be My Warrior?

It was mid-afternoon, sunny and breezy, a very nice May day. I sat on the metal bench waiting for the valet to fetch my car out of the parking garage. Since I like to people-watch, I sat, eyes behind my sunglasses, and watched. Some people dropped off their cars to be parked. Others, like me, waited for their cars to be retrieved from the garage.

The striped red-black-white dress caught my eye, something that I would wear. The lady in the dress was an attractive tall, model-thin lady, and wore nice black-heeled sandals to match the dress. She held the tell-tale large brown envelope with x-rays. Beside her was her daughter, who looked to be 11-12 years old and was almost as tall as her mother and just as pretty! Another lady, who looked like her sister, also stood beside her as they waited for their car.

While the lady’s dress caught my eye, her lovely English accent caught my ear. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but they stood close enough that I could hear their conversation. She said, “you know, there are angels around us everywhere we go.” Through my sunglasses, I saw the tears rolling down the young girl’s face. This lovely lady, like all patients in this hospital, is here because this is the best chance to beat cancer.

I heard the young girl say “I’m so scared” as she sobbed. Her mother held her close and wiped her tears. She said, “It’s only four months, and it’s going to be alright.” Then she turned to her sister, touched her forearm, and asked, “will you be my warrior?” Her sister nodded yes. She turned back to her daughter and held her face in her hands and asked, “will you be my warrior? I need you to be strong for me.”

My car showed up as my own tears rolled down my face. The question haunted me for quite a while. To me, a warrior is someone who shows great vigor, courage, aggressiveness. There isn’t a cancer patient in this hospital who isn’t a warrior; they are fighting every day with courage and perseverance to endure tests, x-rays, treatment, biopsies, waiting, hoping. So why did this lady ask her daughter and sister to be a warrior? Can a loved one, friend, family member be a warrior, too?

Well, yes, because in any battle, there are “non-combat” warriors – advocates, guardians, supporters. These people provide strength, encouragement and care for the battle-worn . . . As I reflected, I realized our personal warriors . . .

  • Mow the grass, edge the sidewalks every week without being asked
  • Pick up the mail and watch the house
  • Show up on Saturday to clean out the refrigerator and kitchen
  • Bring a delicious chicken potpie and fresh fruit tart, just because you don’t have time to cook
  • Give you an “Angel of Prayer” to sit by your bedside
  • Provide company while I wait during the biopsy procedure
  • Bring “care packages” of fruit, snacks, hand-sanitizer, books, magazines
  • Spend Saturday mornings pulling weeds, trimming hedges, fertilizing the yard
  • Pray, have faith when we are weak

So, how will you respond if asked “will you be my warrior?”

“Will you be my warrior?  I need you to be strong and bea positive…”

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No Matter What . . . Bea Positive!

REJECTION: to be deliberately excluded, to throw out as useless

Active rejection comes in the form of bullying or teasing. Passive rejection comes in the form of “silent treatment”.

The first question that comes to my mind is WHY? Aren’t we humans supposed to be social and interact with one another? Are these supposed to be “teaching moments”?

So it starts with kids; kids can be so cruel teasing and bullying others. How about some of these taunts?

  • “Half-breed” because you’re mixed racial ethnicity
  • “Midget” because you’re the shortest in the class
  • “Fatso” because you’re heavy, overweight
  • “Teacher’s Pet” because you make straight A’s
  • “Captain Klutz” because you can’t hit a ball, kick a ball, throw a ball, etc.

As time passes, rejection continues into adulthood. Now, however, rejection becomes more sophisticated, and passive. Is it because adults don’t want to reject someone outright? No, it’s much more subtle with the passive approach. How about a few like:

  • Your phone number has been deleted from your nephew’s phone; of course, “by accident”
  • Not being included in meetings and/or conference calls that others discuss openly in front of you
  • You call or e-mail someone and never get a response but hear about them through others
  • Your co-workers plan lunch and don’t invite you.  Better yet, they order “lunch in” and “forget” to get your order.
  • Put you on a project for which you have no experience or support – set up to fail and told you’re unreliable
  • You stand up for a co-worker who has been ostracized by the team – only to find out you are also outcast

It doesn’t matter if the rejection happened 3 hours ago or 3 years ago. The stinging emotional pain and psychological distress probably brings back bad memories and maybe a few tears. When you’ve experienced rejection multiple times, you start to question yourself . . .

  • maybe I’ll never grow up
  • maybe I’ll always be selfish
  • maybe I didn’t get the right birthday present, Christmas present, anniversary present, present “just because”
  • maybe I should conform so that “they” will like me and include me in their lunches
  • maybe I should be politically correct so that I can get promoted
  • maybe I shouldn’t be honest when asked “what do you think?”
  • or the ultimate, maybe I’m just a loser

Whether perceived or actual rejection, I think about the ultimate rejection. Heralded a week prior, betrayed by someone who spent 3 ½ years with Him, beaten, spit upon, lied about, scourged, mocked, crucified . . . So I have to remind myself that I have endured and will continue to endure, no matter the circumstances. . . not by my will but by God’s will and will probably never know WHY.

So no matter what, Bea Positive!

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