No Matter What . . . Bea Positive!

REJECTION: to be deliberately excluded, to throw out as useless

Active rejection comes in the form of bullying or teasing. Passive rejection comes in the form of “silent treatment”.

The first question that comes to my mind is WHY? Aren’t we humans supposed to be social and interact with one another? Are these supposed to be “teaching moments”?

So it starts with kids; kids can be so cruel teasing and bullying others. How about some of these taunts?

  • “Half-breed” because you’re mixed racial ethnicity
  • “Midget” because you’re the shortest in the class
  • “Fatso” because you’re heavy, overweight
  • “Teacher’s Pet” because you make straight A’s
  • “Captain Klutz” because you can’t hit a ball, kick a ball, throw a ball, etc.

As time passes, rejection continues into adulthood. Now, however, rejection becomes more sophisticated, and passive. Is it because adults don’t want to reject someone outright? No, it’s much more subtle with the passive approach. How about a few like:

  • Your phone number has been deleted from your nephew’s phone; of course, “by accident”
  • Not being included in meetings and/or conference calls that others discuss openly in front of you
  • You call or e-mail someone and never get a response but hear about them through others
  • Your co-workers plan lunch and don’t invite you.  Better yet, they order “lunch in” and “forget” to get your order.
  • Put you on a project for which you have no experience or support – set up to fail and told you’re unreliable
  • You stand up for a co-worker who has been ostracized by the team – only to find out you are also outcast

It doesn’t matter if the rejection happened 3 hours ago or 3 years ago. The stinging emotional pain and psychological distress probably brings back bad memories and maybe a few tears. When you’ve experienced rejection multiple times, you start to question yourself . . .

  • maybe I’ll never grow up
  • maybe I’ll always be selfish
  • maybe I didn’t get the right birthday present, Christmas present, anniversary present, present “just because”
  • maybe I should conform so that “they” will like me and include me in their lunches
  • maybe I should be politically correct so that I can get promoted
  • maybe I shouldn’t be honest when asked “what do you think?”
  • or the ultimate, maybe I’m just a loser

Whether perceived or actual rejection, I think about the ultimate rejection. Heralded a week prior, betrayed by someone who spent 3 ½ years with Him, beaten, spit upon, lied about, scourged, mocked, crucified . . . So I have to remind myself that I have endured and will continue to endure, no matter the circumstances. . . not by my will but by God’s will and will probably never know WHY.

So no matter what, Bea Positive!

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Sharing a Paximadia (Greek cookie)

lenthangIn Greek culture, Paximadia is a toasted Lenten cookie made with almonds and citrus. They have a hard texture and are a bit crumbly, and ideally dunked with your favorite cup of coffee. Or in my case, with a small bottled water.  I find it fitting that Paximadia was shared with me during this Lenten season.

My driver was in the hotel lobby at 12:15 p.m., right on time. He asked me how my day was going and helped me with my luggage. As I got settled in the back seat, I noticed a foil-covered pan in the passenger front seat.

I detected a heavy European accent when he spoke to me, so I asked my driver where he was from. He proudly told me he was from Greece and had been in the U.S. 40 years. I told him about the Greek community north of Tampa in Tarpon Springs that my husband and I visited. It’s a cute little town on the bay with Greek restaurants and shops. I told him about the annual “Epiphany Dive for the Cross” in Tarpon Springs. (FYI, this is the largest observance in the U.S. outside of Greece!).

He came to the U.S. 40 years ago to make money and send back to his family in Greece. He originally planned to be here a couple of years.  Two years soon became five. He was so excited to share that he made close to $25,000 after 5 years; “that was a lot of money back then”.  So he kept working and told his family he would stay a few more years and then never left.  He tries to go back to Greece each year to see his family.

He and his wife raised 4 children, 3 girls and 1 boy ranging from 22 years to 13 years old. He has 3 grandchildren, too. His wife cooks dinner every night for the entire family. The 3 married girls and their families live in the same neighborhood. Every night the entire family eats a home-cooked dinner together. I told him how rare it was for me to hear that a family spends quality time together every night and eats dinner together.

So I was too curious and had to asked “is that your lunch in the foil-covered pan?”  He said, “no, my wife loves to bake, too. Here you must try these cookies.” He opened the foil and handed the pan to me. I took a cookie, and he insisted that I take another. Since I hadn’t eaten lunch yet, I was grateful for the cookie. Then he handed me one of his water bottles he had in the front seat along with some tissues for a napkin. I wrapped the second cookie in the tissue to share with my husband once I landed in Tampa.

He chatted some more about his family, and we turned into the airport. As he pulled over to park, I asked how much I owed him. I couldn’t believe when he told me the flat rate because I had paid double the day before from the airport to the hotel!

I paid him cash and told him no need for change. He got out of the car and got my luggage out for me. As I reached out my hand to shake and thank him for the ride, he kissed both my cheeks – the European way, you know. He thanked me and said “God has blessed you to be a beautiful person.”

As I walked through the airport to my gate, I held back tears. It never dawned on me that he would thank me. I was just another passenger in his day . . . Maybe it was because I spoke to him. Maybe because I cared enough to ask about his life and family. Maybe because I shared a home-baked cookie from his wife.  Maybe it is because I was Positive!

 

“As I Began to …

“As I Began to Love Myself” . . .

Charlie Chaplin’s Speech on his 70th Birthday (originally shared by Leah on 8/22/11)

As I Began to Love Myself

 As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.

Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY“.

 As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.

Today I call it “RESPECT“.

 As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it “Maturity“.

 As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm.

Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE“.

 As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.

Today I call it “SIMPLICITY“.

 As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.

Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF“.

 As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.

Today I discovered that is “MODESTY“.

 As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.

 Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT“.

 As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.

Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART“.

 We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.

Today I know THAT IS “LIFE“!

Quote

The Mailbox Boy

John was walking Matthew, our “little ol’ man”, Wednesday evening.  They usually go down the street for a 15-20 minute walk.  When they returned, John saw our mailbox on the ground and what was left of the post was a jagged mess.  John also noticed a gray piece of a car’s side mirror next to the mailbox.

Because we live in an HOA community, you can’t go to your local Lowe’s Home Improvement or Home Depot and buy a mailbox.  John called the HOA and ordered the “approved” mailbox and post.  Until it arrives, our mailman graciously offered to bring the mail to our front door.

The following morning I was out with our fur-babies.  A young man stopped in front of the house and came up to me and said “I’m the Mailbox Boy”.  He was very contrite and took his baseball cap off as he spoke to me.  He lives in our neighborhood a few blocks down the street.  His father gave him the replacement cost of the mailbox, and he had just gone to the bank to get the cash.

“Mailbox Boy” handed me the money and asked me to please let my husband know that he stopped by.  He told me he was “distracted” as he was driving out of the neighborhood and hit the mailbox.  I told him that many kids would probably not even bother to come back by.  I also told him I’m glad it was only the mailbox that was damaged.

Now, I’m not here to judge, and I certainly didn’t witness the mailbox massacre.  However:

  • I know it’s 20 mph in our neighborhood with a few curves in the streets, so you need to pay attention.
  • I know “Mailbox Boy” has a cell phone, and he called his father immediately after the accident.
  • I know that texting or talking on the phone takes your attention and focus away from driving.

“I report it, you decide.”

Bea Alert and Bea Careful when driving because you are the eyes and ears of your vehicle . . . a mailbox can be replaced.

What's left of our mailbox!

What’s left of our mailbox!

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